


The Doorway (To My Soul)

by orphan_account



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak is Alive, Fluff, It Chapter Two, M/M, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Stan is Richie’s best friend, Stanley Uris is Alive, a fix-it fic of sorts, no more pennywise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:00:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23128933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: At the Jade of The Orient, Stanley is the first to realise that Richie’s eyes are a different colour to what they used to be. Also, Eddie gets more than he bargained for
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Kudos: 33





	The Doorway (To My Soul)

Richie parked his car outside of the front of the restaurant, his stomach clenched in a tight anxious knot as he thought of the people he’d be meeting inside. 

Bill Denbrough, Leader of the Losers. The one who barely even qualified to be a Loser in the first place. His stutter was more or less the only factor that made the other toxic students shun him, that and his friendship group. Bill was so strong and confident, quick to fight and call out bullshit if the situation arose. He was like the big brother of the group, always there in everyones stories and always making his friends feel better. 

Beverly Marsh, The girl with the hair the colour of flames to match her fiery, fierce personality. She was delicate yet deadly, bubbly and beautiful, she shared her cigarettes with him as they sat on the back of the school field, watching for potential threats as they talked about whatever was bothering them. Bev’s abusive father and things she’d remembered or learned about her mother. Beverly was a real diamond in the rough. Richie always felt she was too good to stuck in Derry of all places. 

Ben Hanscom, The kid with the ‘Bowers Tattoo’. Well, that was what Richie had called it. He was sensitive and kind, incredibly calm and supportive of all of them. He wrote poetry and built a club house at the age of thirteen that became a second home to them all. 

Mike Hanlon, the homeschooled kid who lived on a farm and the very same man who invited him here tonight. Mike was very level headed and deeply compassionate, always there to listen and never one to break a promise. 

Stanley Uris. Richie’s best friend since they were toddlers. They had a very love/hate relationship but they were thick as thieves. Stan was very grown up for his age and wore his yarmulke with pride whereas Richie barely acknowledged their shared faith. Stan had known more about Richie than any one else had and being back here was already making him smile. Stan was the only one who knew about his crush on Eddie.

Oh.

Eddie Kaspbrak. The first, and potentially only man Richie has ever loved. He was always a real firecracker and quick to argue with Richie when he was being dumb, but he was also the first to laugh at his jokes. There was always an unspoken energy between Richie and Eddie, Stan was his best friend but Eddie was his... his tether to reality perhaps. Richie always saw Eddie for who he was, strong and brave Eddie. Beautiful, honest Eddie.

Richie felt sick to his stomach. He needed to go in there and prove himself to the people who mattered more than anything to him. The people who he couldn’t remember forgetting. He felt like a fraud already and he’d not walked into the building yet. He sighed and got out of the car, locking it behind him. He saw two people embracing beneath the street light and felt a little light headed. Walking up to them and feeling even worse about himself as he looked at them. 

Beverly looked beautiful, all porcelain skin and bouncy red curls. The man beside her was harder to recognise at first, but when Richie realised it was Ben he couldn’t see how he’d missed it. 

“Well, you guys look amazing” Richie said as he finally got close enough. “What the fuck happened to me?”. It felt weird, like no time had passed yet they were strangers. They went into the restaurant and Richie felt like he should leave. Or, he wanted to until he saw Stanley and Eddie hugging one another the way they did as children. 

Beverly and Ben worked their way around the room, hugging everybody and reminiscing as Richie stood for a second. His breathing was so shallow and he felt his throat closing up. He needed to burst out of it and do something ‘Richie like’. He banged the gong beside their table and everyone’s eyes fell to him in seconds. 

“This meeting of the Losers club is now in session”  
he said, eyes seeking out Eddie’s who had slightly pink cheeks from where he was buried into Stan’s chest. It was like they were all children again, forcing the memories to come back as if they'd never been gone. Richie remembered being the one to cause all of the commotion as a means to deflect from who he was. Eddie and Stanley off doing something together and talking about their shitty parents whilst the others all fawned over Bill like he was a celebrity. It felt safe, it felt normal.

Eddie had now stepped away from Stanley and was watching as Stan walked around the space of the occupied room confidently. He drew Richie in to what appeared to be the warmest hug that he'd shared tonight and Richie felt himself breathe again. How could he have forgotten Stanley Uris? In fact, how could he have forgotten any of these people.  
Stan pulled away only far enough to really look in Richie's eyes as a line of concern came to rest between his eyebrows. Richie knew immediately what Stan was looking so intensely at as a blush came to rest on his cheeks.  
"I'll explain later" he whispered to only Stan, who smiled earnestly and nodded before removing himself from the trash mouth altogether to take a seat at the table. 

\- - - 

"So wait.. Eddie, you got married?" Richie said, the alcohol in his veins giving him the confidence to talk when he wanted nothing more to hide. He felt raw, like everything he'd worked so hard to hide had just been found. Eddie looked irritated but not angry, it wasn't until the words came tumbling out that he looked angry.  
"What, to like.. a woman?" 

Richie picked several extra shots off of the tray and 'blowjob' shotted them in quick succession. His chest hurt, no, fuck that, his heart hurt. He didn't even know why he thought that Eddie would have been single and waiting for him all those years just because Richie had obviously been doing the same. Even though he had forgotten who Eddie was, his heart knew it longed for somebody he'd once known. Somebody he ached to find despite not knowing how. Stan eyed him suspiciously but said nothing as he took one of the shots himself. Almost as a way to explain to Richie that he was seen and wasn't alone. 

The conversation moved on and everyone explained what they did for a living and Richie sat in awe of his friends. Bill the successful writer, Bev the fashion designer, Ben the architect, Stanley with his own accounting firm, Eddie with his own private driving company as well as moonlighting as a risk analyst for an insurance agency. It made his chest ache yet again, this was why he was scared to return. He made a living by being someone he wasn't. He didn't even let people see him for who he was. His stomach churned as it finally got to him on the 'what do you do' front. 

"I'm a semi-famous comedian" he said monotonously, he had a Netflix special and had been on talk shows a few times here and there. Thankfully though he wasn't a household name like Bill, Bev and Ben were. "It's okay, like its what I always wanted to do, and y'know it pays my mortgage in Chicago so i can't complain". He wanted to drown in this alcohol, if only the cup were bigger. They all looked so proud of him, yet he couldn't lie to them anymore. It wasn't fair.  
"Um, the only thing is..." he looked across to Eddie who looked like he was calculating something. "I'm sort of a fraud". 

The entire room echoed with the statement, all of them looking at him with confusion. Richie downed yet another shot and tightened his grip on the small glass.  
"I don't write my own jokes, I don't have anyone special in my life, I have a therapist who I see twice a week and I don't even have any friends" he bowed his head, there was more but he felt like that was enough. 

"You also wear coloured contact lenses" Stan added. This took everybody aback further, how did he notice such a minute detail of someone he could barely remember? Richie was about to stand and leave when Stan put his hand on his shoulder to stop him. "You think you're a fraud when in reality you're just scared" everyone looked shocked when he added, "you've always been scared people would see the real you because you've never liked the real you"


End file.
